Out with the trashy and in with the classy. Since autumn is actually here, and winter will soon be approaching, it’s time to rid your wardrobe of things that have been worn too many times by too many girls. This list contains the 10 items that you should avoid wearing for the days when you strive to look your best.
Here’s The Deal:
Come on girls. I know you’re better than jeggings. At first, they were innovative. You got to wear your PJs and jeans all at the same time. But you can spot a false pair of denims with a drawn-on zipper line and pockets from a mile away. Be better than jeggings, and put on some pants.
I will defend this statement until the day I die: You ARE NOT fashionable if you wear these monstrosities. They were a bad idea in 2006, and they sure as hell aren’t a good idea now, especially when paired with shorts.
3. Longchamp Bag
For those of you who think nylon is a super chic material, I’m sorry to say it’s not. I get that these durable carry-alls fit everything you need for a full day of class, but too many girls walk around with a Longchamp in one hand and a skinny latte in the other.
4. Anything with a High-Low Hem
It was cool at first, but the Billy Ray Cyrus of fashion just has to stop. I can’t even go dress shopping without at least five of these “mullet dresses” on the rack. Either opt for a cocktail length, or a maxi dress — nothing in between.
5. Stacks of Friendship Bracelets
Are you a middle-schooler at sleep-away summer camp? Nope? Yeah, that’s what I thought. These rainbow yarn bracelets are juvenile, and they need to stop ruining your outfits. How about trying a watch or a cuff for grownup wrist wear?
6. Sperry Shoes
I’m guilty of owning these, but it’s time that I throw away my battered pair as well. First off, they’re guy shoes. So if you want to dress like your man, then go for it. But otherwise, save these dock siders for the Vineyard Vine wearing gentlemen.
7. Bandage Dresses
I want to wear the exact same thing as all the girls at the party — said no fashionable girl ever. Bandage dresses have become the uniform of party wear. There’s nothing unique to them; they simply look like a dip dyed ace bandage from a first aid kit that you decided to wrap around yourself. Yeah, it accentuates our curves, but a lot of them can accentuate the wrong curves.
8. Sweat Pants with Words on the Butt
Everyone had those neon-colored sweatpants in high school with the words “PINK” or “JUICY” slapped on the backside. The keywords in that sentence were: high school. Ladies, we’re basically one level away from the professional world, it’s time to let go and throw out the wardrobe from the days when our moms still drove us around.
9. North Face Fleeces
There’s a time and place for everything, but these fleeces should not be in your daily repertoire. Any outfit, no matter how chic it is, immediately becomes frumpy when you choose one of these as your outerwear. There are so many better options out there, like: leather jackets, peacoats, jean jackets or basically anything else. Save the North Face’s for when you’re running outside.
10. Sneaker Wedges
Please, please, please make these stop. Athletic wear and wedges just don’t mix. When are you ever running laps in a bar? Never. I know you think you look like bad gal RiRi when you wear these, but sadly, you don’t.
I apologize if this list offended anyone, but it’s for everyone’s own good. I’m just trying to look out for my fellow fashionistas.